PERSONAL MUSINGS
A page in this blog where thoughts unexpressed verbally are dumped. Gentle reflections on healing, mindset, and emotional well-being drawn from real experiences. Slow living, recovery, grief, and more.
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Why Am I Blogging?
**Just a heads up, this is a long, very personal story of why I am blogging. ** Have you ever felt like doing something but canāt? Either you donāt have the inspiration, the tools, or someoneās discouraging you. Have you ever felt like writing something but you just ignore it or you are just procrastinating? Those times that you’re just talking to yourself, ideas coming in, and thoughts pouring, itās overwhelming! You promised to write everything but when you find the time and youāre ready to write everything, you donāt know where to start. All of those thoughts that you so carefully organized in your mind are gone! And, you…
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Clown
Feeling of emptiness Hallow shadow and darkness urge to cry is present.. Grimaced face is observed Sadness come my way body is like a candle⦠malaise Need for comfort heightened Embrace of a mother, a family, i seek a father.. I am a nobody! a non-perfect human. dumb, profound, retarded a helpless young lady, misunderstood and judged for real. Through it all, in hurt i hide. Cried every night, myself divide. Tolerate the pain, in my world i strive a different person in their presence i maybe, i am a clown and i wanna be free! Kind-hearted, patient, i live with thee. Sadness, you will never see!
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Lotto Booth
Pila dito, pila doonWalang pakialam sa mga taong nakikitaMas mahalaga ang makarating sa may bintana Numero.. animTinta ng bolpen ay tumatak Kapirasong papel ay pag-asa Nakasalalay ang kinabukasan Numeroāy inalagaan Pagod, pawis.. Sakit ng bintiāy di alintana Makaahon sa kahirapan ang nasa isip twina Sige pa.. Unti-untiāy lumalapit Karangyaan ay sasapit Pagkalam ng sikmura ay mawala Bitbit ang mga anak, tangan ay ang bolpen Sa paglubog ng araw Lotto booth ay nakasagupa Pag-asa ang kasama..
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Jeepney
Paulit-ulit na āwoooo wooooā ang tinig ng dyipni Isa, dalawa, tatlo, apat na kolehiyo Isa, dalawa. Dalawang di unipormado Pito kaming pasahero, isama pa ang drayber ay walo. Tubig ulan ay patuloy na bumabagsak, Pasaheroāy isa-isang umaakyat Umiindak sa tugtuging di mawari Yumuyugyog sa lubak ng kalsadang Karamay sa buhay. Pumipikit sa bawat gewang ng dyipning sinasakyan Sumisimangot sa nakikitang kahirapan. Stoplight. Pula, berde at kahel. Sasakyan sa pula ay huminto Patutunguhan sandaliāy inapula ang pagtungo Pagbuhos ng ulan ay tumila Haring araw ay bumulaga Ibaāt-ibang uri ng sasakyan Kasabay ni āRAā ay rumagasa Huminto-diling nag-aanimong tupa Minsan paāy sinilip ang mga kasama Ibaāt-ibang mukha ng buhay, eksperyensya Maitim, maputi,…
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Out of Place
In the midst of the banging crowd I remained silent⦠In the presence of the misty cries I remained silent⦠things arenāt things anymore little by little, my heart leaps for joy step by step, iām joining the unholy ground time now is immemorial feelings of anxiety and unbelongingness vague army of desperation nebulous clan of depression invisible⦠unreachable⦠unbearable⦠reaching the loop of death extending the arm to the top of the mountain creating a society of foolishness forging the scent of the highest heavenā¦
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Sa dako pa roon
Lumipad ka! Patungo sa dako pa roon Sa dakong nakatunghay ay isang hambog! Lumipad sa rurok ng walang katumbas na ligaya Sa lawak ng karangyaang dulot ay dusa. Lumipad ka sa gitna ng mga bundok Hatid ay pangamba.. Sa hanging ang direksyon ay di Makita Sa ilalim ng dagat na ang hatid ay masamang alaala Sa dako pa roon, pag-asaāy lumisan na. Lipad! Oo, lipad! Sa kalangitang hatid ay pag-asa Sa asul na ulap, sumakay ka. Pangambaāy isama sa ulan Ipaimbuyo sa lakas ng hangin Ipatunaw kay Haring Araw! Sa dako pa roon mamili ka, Ilog ng karangyaang puro dusa O ang Bato na siyang sandigan…
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Malevolence
From the depths of silence ..there is war. From the depths of happiness .. someoneās crying out loud From the depths of humility .. there is vanity From the depths of eternity .. there is death. Bewildered in the vagueness of me Blaming the boast of vanity Journeying through the madness of earth Belittling the self for unclaimed holy wealth. Crowning the glory of the lowest realm Feeding the soul of excommunicated angel Living with the generosity of the most ungenerous Died in the serenity of the most wicked creatureā¦